Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm sorry for being away!


the above image is NOT of Charlie!

My strong work ethic has made it impossible for me to write for about a year or more. I've been losing a lot of sleep lately, because of the almost impossible schedule I have of sleeping, eating and well, you know.

This oaf that lives here brought home a little gray rat with a big fluffy tail a few months ago. What a disaster! It was explained to me that it was actually a kitten, but I still don't believe it. It eats our food, it uses our litter pans, and that's just not right! He's getting bigger all the time, and he tackles me, jumps on my back, and chases me! What's wrong with this little pest? He gets dirty, and in the interests of cleanliness, my brother and I take turns washing him, but that tail! It's so big and fluffy, like he's always puffed up! What did I ever do to him, besides swat him off the windowsill a few times, or push him out of his food bowl, or bite his ears, or... well, never mind.

I painted a sign, in the hope that deception in advertising would prove to be profitable. The sign read "Free Kitten to any home, good or bad". The idiot that lives here made me take it down. The injustice of it all! I am Cat! Hear me Roar! Well, at least meow. I can do that, you know! I'm a cat of many talents! I can growl and huff and even spit sometimes! On a good day, I can work up a snarl that will chill you down to your toes!

The rat lover even lets the rat sit in his lap! Encouraging him just won't help at all. My brother can jump higher than the rat can, and he often does, just to get away from him. As some of you may know, I have a somewhat hefty physique, very manly, but I don't jump so well. When I try to jump up high, I end up with a sore nose most of the time. I have to go hide, and I do it well. With 18 hours of sleep to get in, time is of the essence!

The little rat is relentless when he is awake. He just won't leave me alone. Sometimes I just sit on him, but he eventually squirms free. I hope that one day soon, the fool wakes up and realizes that even rats have big fluffy tails!